Who am I?
by Eternal Fire
Summary: Melfina ponders about who and what she really is...


Disclaimer:I do not own the characters of Outlaw Star.This story is intended for non-profit use only.

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**Who am I?**

Melfina quietly closed the door behind her.It was late at night, and the last thing she wanted to do was wake up Jim or Gene.She removed her poncho and hung it on the peg by the doorway.

"Who or what am I?" she whispered to herself.She'd spent the entire night trying to come up with an answer, but she just couldn't!

"Do you know how many people ask themselves that same question?" a familiar voice asked.

Melfina spun around to see Gene standing behind her.His torso was bare, and Mel could see the many scars that adorned his upper body.

"Gene…I'm sorry, did I wake you?" Melfina asked with sad eyes.The outlaw walked up to her and smiled.

"Nah, I was still up…I was waiting for you," he added softly.

"You were?" Mel gasped.

"Of course.I wouldn't think of sleeping until I knew that you were back here," Gene replied.Melfina's eyes widened slightly in surprise.Luckily for her, Gene couldn't see her cheeks flush in the darkness of the room.

"I'm sorry that I was so late," she said softly and turned her head away.

Gene could see a familiar look in her eyes.It was the same one that she'd had earlier this afternoon after Harry McDougall had tried to kidnap her; it was mixture of fear, sadness, despair, and unanswered questions.He placed his hand on her shoulder, and Melfina looked up at him.

"Okay Mel, I want you to tell me the truth.I know that you're not all right.You look like a lost, little lamb.Now, what happened today?" Gene asked firmly but tenderly.

"Gene, please, I don't want to talk about it.I just want it to go away," she cried out.Melfina tried to move past him, but Gene took her arm.She slapped his hand away, and Gene drew back.

"Don't touch me!Keep away!" Melfina nearly shouted.She cringed back against the wall, and Gene was almost frightened at the look of utter helplessness in her brown eyes.What in the world had that McDougall done to her?

Gene wasn't sure why he did it, but he walked closer to Melfina's cowering form and wrapped his arms around her.She squirmed in his embrace as if she was feeling him out.

"Shh, no one is going to hurt you," Gene said soothingly.His voice calmed her rapid heartbeat, and Mel slowly began to relax.

One by one, Melfina began telling him what had happened that afternoon- Harry showing up at their door, him kidnapping her, her escaping into the Outlaw Star, Harry hacking into their systems, being chased by him through cyberspace…It all came out in one big flurry of words, but Gene got the jest of what she was saying.

Melfina was shivering by the time she was done, and Gene held her a little tighter.He led her towards the kitchen and put on a pot of water to boil.When Gene turned on the dim light, he noticed something on Melfina's face.

"Mel!What happened?" he gasped.On the sides of her neck were red marks and her left cheek had a large welt on it.She didn't respond but merely looked down at her hands.Gene reached across the table and clasped her hands.

"Harry…when I wouldn't open the door, he…he broke through it and put his arm around my throat…" Gene felt anger building inside him. "…After I refused to go with him, he…he…he hit me."Now, Gene's blood was boiling.No wonder she'd been as white as a ghost all night.The young outlaw stood up and knelt down next to her chair.

"Why did he want you to go with him?" Gene asked softly.Melfina squeezed his hands a little tighter.

"Well…Harry said that he was only one who could understand me and that we belonged together.He said that I'd never be accepted by humans and that nobody would want me around." Melfina's eyes were filling with tears, and Gene gave her a gentle hug.He was surprised when she buried her face in his chest and cried her eyes out.

"Melfina, what Harry told you is a bunch of crap?Everyone who knows you is glad to have met you," he stated.

"Do you think so?" she gasped as her head popped up.Gene gave her a lopsided grin and wiped her tears away.His fingers lingered on the smoothness of her cheek, and Mel sighed softly.

"Melfina, I know for a fact that both Jim and I are glad we met you, and I'm sure that Asha and Sazuka feel the same way," he replied.

"It's just that…sometimes…I feel like you and Jim would do better without having me around.I mean...I don't really have any skills aside from navigating the Outlaw Star so I can't help you get a job with anyone.I'm just someone that you two bring with you all the time," Melfina said sadly.Gene clasped her hand.

"That's not true, Mel, and you know it!You're so much to both of us.Jim has always wanted a big sister, and you fit the role perfectly!" he quipped.

"What about you?" she asked nervously.Gene tilted her chin up with his finger and looked into her eyes.His grin widened until he was almost smirking.

"You're the woman in my life," he said with a wink.Melfina couldn't help it and giggled; Gene always could make her laugh when she was feeling down.

"Melfina, I can't tell you that everything's going to be perfect because life doesn't work that way, but I will tell you this…Harry McDougall is not the key to who you are.Who you are is determined by your thoughts and actions, and what you become is determined by the choices that you make?The important thing is that you should do what feels natural to you and what makes you happy!" Gene explained.

"Where did that come from?" she asked.

"My father told me that when I was younger," he replied.Now, Melfina knew that Gene was just trying to make her feel better.

"Melfina, you have your strengths and weaknesses; you laugh, cry, shout, and smile just like everyone else.Just because you have certain 'abilities' doesn't make you a freak!You make up your own mind about what you want to do and don't let anyone else's opinion get in the way…including mine," he added as he stood up.

Gene took the pot of boiling water of the range and proceeded to mix some tea into a cup.He placed it in Mel's hands, and she took a sip.

Melfina set the cup down and look up at him.

"Gene, I want to stay here with you and Jim.I like being with you guys, and I'm happy here," she stated.

"And we like having you around Mel.If we've made you feel left out, then I apologize but don't think for a minute that you don't mean something to us.Jim cares about you and so do I."

"You…you do?" Melfina asked in pleasant surprise.

"Of course, I care about you.Do you know anyone else that keeps me out of trouble more than you?" Gene asked with a quirked eyebrow.Melfina giggled at his statement.

"With you, it's a full-time job!" she retorted.

"Oh thanks," he groaned.

"Melfina, all joking aside, I'm glad that you're here regardless of how I may act sometimes, and don't worry, I promise you that no one is going to hurt you in anyway, okay?" Gene said firmly.

"Thank you," Mel said softly.She finished her tea and put the cup into the sink.

Gene walked her to her room, and Melfina smiled warmly at him.

"Goodnight Gene," she said tenderly.Her eyes widened when he bent down and kissed her cheek.

"Sweet dreams, Melfina," he replied with a genuine smile.Gene headed down towards the room that he shared with Jim, and Mel went into her own room.

As she crawled under the covers, Melfina felt a pleasant warmth rushing through her body.It was like this tingling was rushing from one end of her body to another.She'd never felt anything like this except when a certain longhaired outlaw smiled at her.

Melfina reached up and touched her cheek where Gene had kissed her.She could still feel his warmth around her, and it comforted her to know that he cared about her that much.The young woman closed her eyes and let her mind drift away as she settled into slumber. 

Author's Notes:I wrote this after watching the episode 'Between Man and Machine'.I apologize if it's a little lame, but hey…it was one in the morning so cut me some slack!Anyway, review this and let me know what you think!


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